Today is my dad's 48th birthday, and although he may not be here to celebrate it, I have many memories instead. I think of my dad often. For example, when I almost received a C in my Public Relations class, I could just imagine the smirk he would've made when I told him, a smirk that would most likely be followed by a remark about how "Higginbotham's don't make C's" or "they aren't my kid..you are" which are phrases I have received often during school while growing up. I also can see him grinning from ear to ear when I would have told him that somehow by the grace of God I pulled of a B -  with a 79.84% in the class, which would be followed by "some dap" aka a fist pump.
I think of how when I am driving on the highway, and I ride in the fast lane almost the whole way to my destination,  how annoyed he would be if he knew that I did that. He always told me NEVER to ride the whole way in the fast lane. I think of the time when I was sleeping in a twin sized bed next to him, and he woke me up in the middle of the night to quote a Taylor Swift song. I think of how when he couldnt stretch out his arms, and he looked like a squirell and how "little squirell" became his forever nickname. I think of how he broke both legs in high school because of his lack of calcium (gottaa drink milk), and how we used to play softball for hours at the park. I think of how he painted pochahontas on my wall by hand when I was little, and how he used to call my best friend "Caspary the Friendly Ghosty". I think of the time he once tricked me into eating deer meat, and then felt bad when I cried after eating it. I think of the times he told me to "slow down" and to "take a breath" when I was talking wayy toooo fast. And I think of the times when he sat and listened when I told him all of the random events of my day. I think of how he used to mix ketchup and mustard and dip his chips in it. And I think of the one time when he was working on my birthday, and he sent me an E-Card to my email ha. I think of how he would question my latest crush, or give me sound advice on my latest friend problems. I think of how he would wake me up 6 times in the morning before I actually got out of bed. And how much he and my brother loved to watch South park. I think of how quickly Dexter became his latest obsession, and how he had probably seen every 48 hour mystery that had ever aired. I think of how he loved reeses, and how he loved iced oatmeal cookies front he brown paper package even more. I think of how he cried when a boy made me cry, and how he used to get me flowers on valentines day. I think of how he never let his sickness get in the way of his humor, and how he loved his family.
My dad was a cutie. Such a good looking guy that when I was in the 2nd grade, he came to my "parent career day" at chaires elementary school, and one girl in my class told me my dad was hot. A SECOND GRADER. Thats probably one of my favorite memories.
So yeah I think of him, just in case you were wondering. And I think of how even in the worst of times, he was still cracking jokes, and saying funny things that I will not post for all of the world to see, but they were funny I promise. But I miss my dad, and I know many other people do too, he was a super great guy and he is remembered :)

I dont move into my apartment until August 4, 2011. But who says a little planning ahead cant hurt.

Well I know I just posted legit 10 minutes ago. But, I cant sleep. My stepdad has always fancied a combnation of two drinks, hot chocolate and coffee. We just recently visited TN over Thanksgiving break, and a waitress informed him that this "concoction" was not unique to him at all, and in fact, its called a cadillac. So since then, he has made them, every night. I drank one, hence why I am still awake.

So since Im still awake, I will just write..or type ha. Im a jealous mess, with little faith but a heart that means well. I want to seek Him, but i find myself seeking him, them, me...the world. Emphasis on the capitalization, you got me? Ive been reading, and what I have been reading has slowly been revealing to me the attributes of God. And all that Jesus suffered through for me, and all that I am failing to suffer through or better yet grow through, for Him. I am so worried about what I want, and the feelings that I feel, I dont worry about what He wants, or how I make Him feel. This is changing. Slow process for myself of little faith, but it is changing.
Every time I begin to fall away, He constantly reminds me, in His own way (of course), that the world is not for me, nor are my desires. I want to seek His will, not mine. And although those may align, they might not. And whether they do or do not, they certainly wont on my time.
In Matthew 25:13 it says "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.'' I dont want to be preoccupied with my own worldly agenda when God comes again, or when He speaks to me. I struggle. And I'm trying.

:)

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Proverbs 14:30

My heart hurts. And I pray that I will not be envious, but rather seek Him instead. He knows whatsup. PTL.

Tis the season for blogging I suppose. Its been awhile since I have written anything on here, not that my previous posts from over a year ago are anything close to enlightening. But anyways, a lot has changed since I last posted on this blog and I guess I will bring my non existent group of subscribers up to date on the happenings of Katie Higginbotham's life.

So. Lemme see, the last post I have on here is from around April. Well. Since then, I have learned a lot, made a lot of mistakes, made some good decisions, and gone through some things that have shaped me into who I am today, on December 13th.
I'm in college now (like the real kind), and I have come to learn a lot more than I thought. If you had asked me two years ago what I would be doing in college, it certainly wouldn't be the answer I would give you today. In the past year, the passing of my father, the graduating of high school, and the start of a new chapter in my life has prompted many things, one of those being a better understanding of what it looks like to have a relationship with God.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, and I certainly never will be. But I've had to lean on him quite a bit more than I myself would've liked to admit, but that's okay. And although I still may not know why he does what he does, that's okay too. So in short, without all the "wayy tooo much information" details, I've learned, and I still am learning, that God is in control, and he knows whatsup, because I certainly don't :)

So basically. Thats whatsup now. andd I guess I will start blogging again, because Lord knows how anxious my subscribers get when I don't blog...:)

Phillipians 4:6. word.

Zephaniah 3:17 " The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

So, I really like this blog. Because nobody reads it haha, and I can just put my thoughts in to words, so its basically a win/win. If one day someone does happen to read it, hopefully by that time I will be well on my way to not caring what others think of me..until then haha i suppose Im taking baby steps towards that goal.

Its funny because I was walking into the Titusville BCC campus on tuesday, and first let me start off by explaining the weather conditions. You know the expression raining cats and dogs? Well..it was raining horses and cows..and basically elephants, cuz it was raining hard. And if you have ever been to the titusville campus after it rains, you will know that a small lake forms between the parking lot, and the building. well there is only one problem..getting across this "lake."

Well i walked through it earlier that day, and was soaked and covered in mud..i had to change and later that night I found myself in the same situation..I didnt know how to get to the building..so i proceeded to walk through the lake yet AGAIN. why..im not sure.

So i was wearing sandals..backless sandals. and they of course got muddy and wet, and as i got up closer to the building my shoes began to slip off my feet. One would come off..then the other. Emabassed I out them back on and proceeded to walk.. it happend again. and again. and again. and idk why i just explained this whole story but the moral of the story was i was embarressed for the dumbest reason ever.. and one day I hope stupid stuff like that doesnt embarrass me..

Anyways on to the reason im writing this haha..I have been ridiculously stressed about UF. Which is where I want to go..but I dont find out if I got in until next friday. a week. so I have been praying a lot about being calm and letting God take control and whatever he wills me to do, I will. Well, trying to calm myself down doesnt do me much good, because the fact is that Im nervous, and I feel like only he has the power to really set me at ease. I was reading and came across the versee up thereee ^^^ and the one line really stuck out to me. "He will quiet you with his love." Thats just the best ya know? when you need something and BAM. he puts it there. lol I realize how gay I sound..but i dont care. And He delights in me? ha all i can say is how the heckk can he delight in ME? im a freakinn messss. but he does. and i am thankful beyond belief. and I am trying, more than ever, and these things are just becoming important to me, and my heart is just now taking notice of the little things and the ways that God tries to speak to me. All I can say is..better now that never.

So I sit here on Sunday night in my room, sitting here on my computer and im currently listening to Anis Mojgani. Hes the best, but thats beside the point. My weekend was great, and life is good. No complaints here.

My Friday evening consisted of orlando with the family, and good conversation. Saturday was absolutely beautiful, but I was stuck inside packing up my cluttered closet, getting ready for a big change for my family. Saturday night I went to CCV with some great friends, and enjoyed dinner, laughs, and fun times with them. I ended my weekend with a great church service in Titusville, my soon to be stepbrother was baptized and it was great. The weekend was great and i am content.

I am pleasantly surprised at how great my life has been going and how much more i enjoy things when I am not tempted by partying. It took a certain someone to show me that my life is much more with the absence of these things. Although that young man is no longer as great an influence on my life, God has a purpose for everything. And since this said "influence", I have a desire to please God, and to live a life that reflects this claim. I am not perfect nor will I ever be, but I am trying much more than I have ever before. I caution myself on my speech, and my actions as well.

God has a plan, and I'm trying my hardest to trust in him. He's a good guy. :) PEACE.

Okay so let me just start off by saying that writing this makes me think of the twix commercial. The one where the guy is embarassing himself so he "thinks it over" with twix and then tells the girl he thought she was the kind of person who liked to "blog about her ideals". Anyways that sounds really gay so i dont really wanna "blog about my ideals" rather just say whats on my mind..

So my brother has really taught me a lot lately. This is super odd and rare let me tell youu. Lately he's been complaining and just basically saying his life sucks. And im sure every 13 year old thinks that their life sucks, but the light is soo at the end of the tunnel..they just cant see it yet ha. Basically, his complaining has made me appreciate our life more. My brother and I are fortunate kids. We always have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. In addition to those things..we have everything we could possibly want or need, and thats A LOT. Im not going to pretend like ive never had a pity party for myself, but lately i cant possibly think of any reason why I should. I have great parents, great friends, and a future thats looking pretty bright, at least I hope. I eat good food, go to a great school that I wont fully appreciate til i leave, and I am just all around fortunate.

Its so easy to feel bad for ourselves. Im pretty sure everyone can find something to harp on or dwell on, but there is so much more than that. With our disadvantages set aside, we are some lucky individuals. Tonight I put on sweatpants and a t-shirt, and I baked cookies and watched a movie with two good friends. I forget how fun those little things are. Laughing at stupid movies, and eating chocolate chip cookies til you feel sick are simple things that I forget to appreciate. So my friends..this first blog is pretty lameee, but its what is on my mind tonight, im thankful..and thats just plain it. :)