Cadillac.

Well I know I just posted legit 10 minutes ago. But, I cant sleep. My stepdad has always fancied a combnation of two drinks, hot chocolate and coffee. We just recently visited TN over Thanksgiving break, and a waitress informed him that this "concoction" was not unique to him at all, and in fact, its called a cadillac. So since then, he has made them, every night. I drank one, hence why I am still awake.

So since Im still awake, I will just write..or type ha. Im a jealous mess, with little faith but a heart that means well. I want to seek Him, but i find myself seeking him, them, me...the world. Emphasis on the capitalization, you got me? Ive been reading, and what I have been reading has slowly been revealing to me the attributes of God. And all that Jesus suffered through for me, and all that I am failing to suffer through or better yet grow through, for Him. I am so worried about what I want, and the feelings that I feel, I dont worry about what He wants, or how I make Him feel. This is changing. Slow process for myself of little faith, but it is changing.
Every time I begin to fall away, He constantly reminds me, in His own way (of course), that the world is not for me, nor are my desires. I want to seek His will, not mine. And although those may align, they might not. And whether they do or do not, they certainly wont on my time.
In Matthew 25:13 it says "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.'' I dont want to be preoccupied with my own worldly agenda when God comes again, or when He speaks to me. I struggle. And I'm trying.

:)